By Rita A. Coker
Every human being needs love and a relationship. We are made this way. No one wants to live alone except they are forced to do so due to one thing or the other. Because of this, many people, if not everybody seeks some form of a relationship.
Unfortunately many of these relationships end up very badly because we fail to see the signs of an abuser or a potential one. Is this a classic example of what they say that love is blind? Hopefully, the tips below, which are by no means exhaustive, will help mothers to counsel their daughters and friends to counsel their friends.
If you want to test your relationship to see if it’s a healthy one, watch out for the following signs:
A very possessive partner
They always want to know who has called you
They try to read your mails
They read your text messages
They try to listen in on your conversations with friends and even family members.
They sulk when you don’t give them what they request for
They are bad tempered
Refuse to forgive easily when offended
They are not friendly with your friends or even family members
They try to get you to break up your relationships with friends and even family members
Highly jealous whenever you speak with the opposite sex
They discourage you from responding to party invitations from friends
They start complaining about your job
They are very domineering
They complain about how you dress instead of making suggestions
They throw things and destroy things when they get angry
You cannot question their actions and if you do they blow up
They refuse to let you meet their family members or friends
Whenever they misbehave, they accuse you for making them do it
They cannot give you compliments
They speak harshly to you most of the times
They never appreciate whatever you do
They stalk you
They do not trust you
If you are seeing more than 2 of the above, please run for your dear life. You are definitely living in an abused relationship or you are heading for one. Your happiness is very important. Go
and find someone who will truly appreciate you and love you. Love yourself. Be your own boss.
To be your own boss follow the link below:
http://paydotcom.com/r/38495/nanao/20481081
Friday, September 5, 2008
Are you suffering from Domestic Violence? Learn More…
By Rita Coker
Domestic violence can be defined as any form of abuse against another person in a relationship in a domestic setting. It is all about power issues and control. It can be between husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, parent to child and vice versa.
There are different types of domestic violence even though more people are aware of the physical type of violence which leaves obvious marks on the victim.
Other forms of domestic violence which are less obvious are mental or emotional abuse whereby the perpetrator uses words or actions to humiliate the victim and leaves the victim demoralized and can lead to inferiority complex in the victim.
Economic or financial abuse: whereby the perpetrator does not allow the victim to work outside the home and can even ask the victim to stop working regardless of their profession. In this case the victim has to depend on the perpetrator for every single thing and if it’s a woman, she may depend on the perpetrator even for sanitary towels. The victim can be punished by not receiving anything they request for be it clothing, shoes etc and having no money, they are kept under the control of the abuser. You need financial independence to survive!
Social abuse: this is the situation whereby the victim is not allowed to socialize with anybody, not friends, not family members. The aim is to cut off the victim from anyone who could counsel the victim to report the abuse or leave the relationship.
Cultural abuse: This type of abuse appears in the form of racial statements and racial slurs against the victim. Some perpetrators often force the victim to dress in a certain way.
Sexual abuse: This type of abuse manifests itself in both obvious and non-obvious ways. The obvious one is rape and incest but the less obvious ones are sexual innuendos to victims about part of their bodies or rubbing themselves against the victim.
All the above forms of abuse except physical abuse are not obvious and are more deadly according to psychologists because they are internalized and could cause the victim to self destruct.
More often than not, the victims are made to think that it is their fault. They are told that it is because of their bad behavior that has caused the perpetrator to abuse them. This is the reason why many victims of domestic violence refuse to report their abusers because they blame themselves. Another reason why victims fail to report the abuse is that the perpetrator would often become remorseful and promise never to do it again. This misleads the victim into thinking that the abuser would change.
What people do not realize is that an abuser never changes not unless they receive counseling and show a definite turn around in their behavior.
You want to be financially independent click the link below for more information:
http://paydotcom.com/r/13514/nanao/20479942
Domestic violence can be defined as any form of abuse against another person in a relationship in a domestic setting. It is all about power issues and control. It can be between husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, parent to child and vice versa.
There are different types of domestic violence even though more people are aware of the physical type of violence which leaves obvious marks on the victim.
Other forms of domestic violence which are less obvious are mental or emotional abuse whereby the perpetrator uses words or actions to humiliate the victim and leaves the victim demoralized and can lead to inferiority complex in the victim.
Economic or financial abuse: whereby the perpetrator does not allow the victim to work outside the home and can even ask the victim to stop working regardless of their profession. In this case the victim has to depend on the perpetrator for every single thing and if it’s a woman, she may depend on the perpetrator even for sanitary towels. The victim can be punished by not receiving anything they request for be it clothing, shoes etc and having no money, they are kept under the control of the abuser. You need financial independence to survive!
Social abuse: this is the situation whereby the victim is not allowed to socialize with anybody, not friends, not family members. The aim is to cut off the victim from anyone who could counsel the victim to report the abuse or leave the relationship.
Cultural abuse: This type of abuse appears in the form of racial statements and racial slurs against the victim. Some perpetrators often force the victim to dress in a certain way.
Sexual abuse: This type of abuse manifests itself in both obvious and non-obvious ways. The obvious one is rape and incest but the less obvious ones are sexual innuendos to victims about part of their bodies or rubbing themselves against the victim.
All the above forms of abuse except physical abuse are not obvious and are more deadly according to psychologists because they are internalized and could cause the victim to self destruct.
More often than not, the victims are made to think that it is their fault. They are told that it is because of their bad behavior that has caused the perpetrator to abuse them. This is the reason why many victims of domestic violence refuse to report their abusers because they blame themselves. Another reason why victims fail to report the abuse is that the perpetrator would often become remorseful and promise never to do it again. This misleads the victim into thinking that the abuser would change.
What people do not realize is that an abuser never changes not unless they receive counseling and show a definite turn around in their behavior.
You want to be financially independent click the link below for more information:
http://paydotcom.com/r/13514/nanao/20479942
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