Are you suffering from Domestic Violence? Learn More…

By Rita Coker

Domestic violence can be defined as any form of abuse against another person in a relationship in a domestic setting. It is all about power issues and control. It can be between husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, parent to child and vice versa.

There are different types of domestic violence even though more people are aware of the physical type of violence which leaves obvious marks on the victim.

Other forms of domestic violence which are less obvious are mental or emotional abuse whereby the perpetrator uses words or actions to humiliate the victim and leaves the victim demoralized and can lead to inferiority complex in the victim.

Economic or financial abuse: whereby the perpetrator does not allow the victim to work outside the home and can even ask the victim to stop working regardless of their profession. In this case the victim has to depend on the perpetrator for every single thing and if it’s a woman, she may depend on the perpetrator even for sanitary towels. The victim can be punished by not receiving anything they request for be it clothing, shoes etc and having no money, they are kept under the control of the abuser. You need financial independence to survive!

Social abuse: this is the situation whereby the victim is not allowed to socialize with anybody, not friends, not family members. The aim is to cut off the victim from anyone who could counsel the victim to report the abuse or leave the relationship.

Cultural abuse: This type of abuse appears in the form of racial statements and racial slurs against the victim. Some perpetrators often force the victim to dress in a certain way.

Sexual abuse: This type of abuse manifests itself in both obvious and non-obvious ways. The obvious one is rape and incest but the less obvious ones are sexual innuendos to victims about part of their bodies or rubbing themselves against the victim.

All the above forms of abuse except physical abuse are not obvious and are more deadly according to psychologists because they are internalized and could cause the victim to self destruct.

More often than not, the victims are made to think that it is their fault. They are told that it is because of their bad behavior that has caused the perpetrator to abuse them. This is the reason why many victims of domestic violence refuse to report their abusers because they blame themselves. Another reason why victims fail to report the abuse is that the perpetrator would often become remorseful and promise never to do it again. This misleads the victim into thinking that the abuser would change.

What people do not realize is that an abuser never changes not unless they receive counseling and show a definite turn around in their behavior.



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